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I'm a soon-to-be non-gestational, non-biological, non-adoptive mother. In short, I'm a lesbian and my wife is pregnant... this is my blog following documenting our journey.


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"Why don't you have a baby too?"

A few people that we have told about the impending small person have been quick to ask why I don't fancy the prospect of pregnancy. This is written to address that specific question. Firstly, me and my ovaries are not on first name terms. Don't get me wrong, my vagina and I are the best of pals, but anything beyond my cervix is a conversation I don't want to take part in. I'm worse than useless at getting a regular PAP smear, and I am bloody terrible (no pun intended) on my period. A mix of PCOS and possible endometriosis makes each month's (or sometimes my bi-annual) bloodfest an agony induces swamp of hormones and hysteria.  I don't like my womb. It can fuck right off, so the last thing I want to do is make it bigger, fill it with more things that one day will plunged forth into a living hell of episiotomies and afterbirth. And, added to that, I like the way my vagina looks at the moment - it really isn't in need of a remodel.  But before any p...
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"So why write anonymously?"

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Why blog anonymously? Sure, no one has anyone has asked me that, because, you know, writing anonymously… but still, I thought I would address it.  This answer is probably three fold, but to be honest the first and foremost reason is consent. Okay, what do I mean by that? Well, I mean I don’t have the foetus’ consent to write anything about it at the moment. I don’t have consent to post pictures, or to discuss anything that might lead to future small person being identifiable. And you know, the internet is kinda forever in some regard so as a prospective (protective) parent that feels safer to me.  So yeah, consent can’t be given by Cletus (the foetus), so that defaults to me as future parent. And I don’t want to put up baby pictures or intimate details – I don’t think that is right (see my point above on the internet being forever). The other mother isn’t so keen on it either. But let’s get this clear, if you are the kind of parent who posts your sproglet up ...
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People watching and prams...

Sunday is a pretty good day for people watching, and my favourite pastime has now got a new logistical spin. Basically, when it comes to the practicalities of bringing a small person into this world, my wife and I aren’t sweating the small stuff. Look, we took five years of IVF clinics and private consultations and plane rides and sperm donors and operations and general chaos to get to the point that we are at now. So things like the day-to-day practicalities haven’t quite caught up yet. We have a friend who is due a month before us, and all they need is the baby monitor. We, on the other hand, have a Barbapapa lamp we fished out of a skip and a book about a giraffe.   We have loads of time… but still, we’ve started to think that we might need a pushchair. So in the sun, we sat on the shores of a rather big lake in Switzerland, watching the people promenade whilst paying close attention to the buggies that went by. This has taught us a few important facts – ...
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