"So who is the father?"
I get it, you want to know who the father is because we fall out of the parameters of what constitutes a family for you. Don't look so worried... I get it.
But to be honest, here is my point of view. Each time you casually ask "who is the father?", or "how did you pick the father?", I feel a little dismissed.
It is obvious this is a little more about my wife, her contention to rival the size of the Goodyear blimp by autumn is registered and well underway. She is clearly going to become a parent soon, but despite outward appearances, so am I.
I understand your curiosity, I do. But firstly it is a little personal to be asking where we bought cum from and what made us pick that particular jar of man juice. But that is what you are asking every time you say "so who is the father?". Think about that for a moment.
And the reason reading between the lines makes me think of spermage is because that is what this is to us. There is no father. Instead, there is a donor, a nice chap with hairy palms and an ability to crack on off in a doctor's office.
By choosing to ask "who is the father?" over "who is the donor?", you are basically choosing to ask who the second parent is whilst dismissing my place in this none existent ménage-a-trois.
This is the long and the short of it...
We are two women having a baby via invitro fertilisation, with donor sperm from a bloke we (legitimately) found on the internet (Danish sperm bank not Craigslist). And the next person who asks who the father is will be told this, with a sweet smiling face accompanied with a liberal dose of fuck you eyes.